ryan rambles

i'v mentioned in a couple of posts that i've been working a book that is part memoir and part travel guide of my time in asia. i'm desperate for some feedback so i'm going to take a break from the norm and post a rough draft of something i've been working on. as part of the book, i'm going to put in several short essays entitled "thriving & surviving" which are observations and musings on cultural differences that exist only in asia. i would greatly appreciate some comments on this....the material isn't exactly sensitive, but i'm mostly afraid of the tone being misinterpreted. i want to tweak foibles here, not create hate literature (although i think i'm pretty far off the mark)

anyway, here goes...

Thriving + Surviving – The Squat Toilet

Spend any amount of time in Asia and you’re sure to come across the squat toilet. It’s a trough-shaped fixture, seated in the middle of the floor in a bathroom stall. The water tank is in the top corner and features a pull chain to flush. There isn’t a seat and you need to position yourself over top of the trough, with your pants pulled away from your bum, while trying to maintain your balance. I like to push my hand against one wall for support, while using my other to ensure I don’t poop all over my pants.

While most homes and businesses have converted to the western-style toilet, the squatter remains in many public bathrooms throughout. If you’re like me, you only encounter the squatter when the situation is dire. It will likely be shortly after you’ve made a questionable food choice that will result in a mad dash to the nearest public toilet. It’s a 50/50 chance of it being a squat toilet. Of course, in a blind panic to use the toilet lest you unload in your pants, you take whatever comes your way.

I still prefer to use a western-style toilet whenever I can. This is due to a couple of reasons. A) Sanitation and B) Less-stress. I know that some would disagree about it western-style toilets being more sanitary (various bums touching the toilet seat, fear of crabs, herpes, etc) but squatters don’t seem that clean to me. There can be (and often is) leftovers that haven’t been washed away, not to mention a garbage pail full of used toilet paper about a foot away. I tend to feel stressed out whenever I have to use a squatter. I’m afraid that I’ll crap on my clothes, or that I’ll slip and fall into the trough. Worst of all, the fact is that there isn’t a water dampening effect from the usual bowl, so the smell is unholy. I’m always worried that the smell might cling to my clothing for the rest of the day. All in all, I poop so I can relieve my body of undue stress, not to create more.

There are a few advantages to the squat toilet that I would be failing in my duty if I didn’t report on them. It is good for your digestive system because there is no grunting or pushing involved. You just simply let go and boom! A nice quick crap. I suppose it can be considered more sanitary because you aren’t touching anything (once you’ve mastering the balancing act). But, isn’t it nice to just sit down and take a break sometimes? To have a little “me” time?

I think I’ve gotten somewhat used to the squat toilet over time, although I will still wait in line for the western-style toilet as long as it’s not go time.

thoughts? comments? concerns? i'd love to hear 'em.