for sale: a slightly-used life, but still got some miles to go yet! friendly, outgoing personality, sense of humour, polite - someone you'd introduce to your parents...bit of a talker with tendency to sidebar without segue....body a 'fixer-upper' for anyone interested putting in the work. life also includes mediocre job complete with low wage and crap hours. $1000 o.b.o. will also consider interesting trades.

i've decided that i need to go back to taiwan. the reasons are largely financial, with some of the blame being shifted onto professional growth and making just a tiiiiiiny bit of room for adventure. as soon as i came to this realization i really did feel a giant weight lifting off of my shoulders (as cliched as that sounds) now as i write i guess i've really never stopped thinking about how good life was while we were there, why we left, why we weren't going to go back, blah, blah, blah but i really should have just come to the conclusion of going back sooner rather than later.

the plan is to save, save, save...that also happened to be the plan before, but we opted for fun more than saving last time. this time i know that it will be different as i know awaits me here at home and it ain't pretty. it's not that i can't take life here....settling down actually sounds alright but i just can't see that happening on my current wage of $1300/month. back at our old salaries, we would be able to survive, pay all bills back home, and still save a a third of what we'd make.

overall, the improvements to life would be significant, if not downright vast....we'd be back in a city we love (albeit noisy & dirty at times) we'd be able to shop for things again (yah stuff!) we could eat excellent, cheap food and take excellent, cheap holidays as well. while there are arguments on the other side of the pro's (aren't there always?) lest we forget the retraining and improvement of chinese language skills, with the possibility of attending university to study graphic art? who knows. elisha has also considered doing her masters in education which would definitely help when she gets home.

more money, cheaper, improved lifestyle, more travel, cultural experiences around every corner, the promise of a brighter tomorrow....what can't this change do for us? considering this is the first blog i've written in this haphazardly-updated blog in a while that contains any enthusiasm whatsoever, i'd also have to say it would improve the quality of writing and pique my creativity.

the one and only thing that could darken our decision is the way we are going to finance our new life abroad. the family is planning our reception for this summer, so we expect to receive some wedding money. not really expecting anything, but it would definitely give us our start-up capital and allow us to advance these plans to this summer. the question then is how you look at the situation. the money will be given to us to spend as a couple in order to start our lives together. the traditional way of thinking assumes that the monies will be spent on household items, not international travel. some might think it rude to claim the money under the pretense of starting a life, only to abandon said "life" a few short weeks later. some may even think of asking for a refund.
then again, some may have a different outlook. the positive way of thinking about it is to remain neutral. once the money is given, the couple should be able to do whatever they want with it, irregardless of what that want is.
the last stance on the issue is also favourable but will take into consideration initial shock at hearing of how the wedding money was spent. after that first bit of surprise, understanding will take place as the person will realize that the cash was an extremely helpful tool to invest in our future (plane tickets) which we will then be able to increase that money. after that, we'll come back with the means to realize some dreams.

my new favourite swear word...'shitty bastard.'

4/20

today started off promising to be a grey, cool day but turned out pleasant enough by the afternoon. that seems to be the way the weather works where we live now. the early morning is clear, but then it clouds over in by mid-morning and then by afternoon it clears up again usually until sunset. today wasn't any different and was just a great day to hang out, plus it had the added bonus of being 4/20 which is a day to be celebrated among those who chose to use marijuana. here are some of the pics i took today while enjoying my 4/20.

the feast after it was bbq'd

the enchanted wood







and here i thought trilliums only grew
in ontario (hence the provicial flower in of ontario is the trillium...duh!) 'cept for for one little thing, this was in the
enchanted wood behind my house...alrightso it's not really enchnnted, but wouldn't thatbe something ??

this hippy-lady who lives in town. i see her everywhere driving this thing which a covered with all sorts of neat crap.

sometimes i really like living here...i mean, just look at that mountain and i live at the foot of it! pretty cool to think about.

i think this province may be slowly, slightly working its magic on me. of course, nice weather will always bring out the best of any place, but i have to say to its really nice here.

hope you had as good of a 4/20 as i did.

compromise if the lubricant on which society depends

it seems like all i ever do in life is compromise. i used to think what better place to meet someone than halfway there, but i think twice about things these days. compromise starts at an early age. the world isn't the way we'd like and unless we decide to play ball by making small sacrifices, we can't seem to get along. just ask any newborn who's figuring things out for the first time. and as you learn to talk and listen, it just gets worse.
"finish your dinner and then you can play."
"Ryan, we have to take turns and share our toys."
"Please listen while others are speaking."
but it just gets worse as we age because we start to take more responsibility for our actions. work, family and friends all have their own sets of demands on our time and energy, which forces us to compromise on the time we allot for each task. while physical factors may attribute for a lot of unseen compromising, there is no doubt about how much compromise is made by people, or rather , will vs. will. most people can get along with each other, but there are some which make it difficult due to their unwillingness to bend, or compromise on some issue.
take friendship for example, which is supposed to be all about compromise and one are wherei can honestly say compromise goes a long way. however, some friends compromise more than others. i'm experiencing that in a big way recently with certain others who have a lot of personal problems. as such, this person isn't themself and act out in petty, petty ways forcing the other friend, a.k.a me to compromise even more in the name of friendship. while i should just tell this person to f off and get a hold of themself, the compromising brain tells me to try to be understanding and empathetic.
So, why does this make me want to pull out my hair?
Because as if the above reasons weren't enough for you to believe that life is just one big compromise, there are literally hundreds of mini-compromises that we make on an unconscious level each day. each breath we take as a race is a compromise and not a very good one, i'm afraid. you see, oxygen is very toxic, corrosive element so what animals like humans have evolved on a compromised system. We need the oxygen to survive, and while that doesn't harm us outright, the energy released into the cells from the oxygen powers the mitochondria, which in turn release byproducts. These by-products, known as free radicals, eventually destroy cells which causes ageing and eventually death. But, without this compromise, we wouldn't exist.
alright, so after we come to terms with this irrevocable compromise with mother nature, let us not forget her other compromise; weather. completely a one-sided compromise. the weather couldn't care less about how you have to drive 250km that day, or that you planned to go running before work. hell, it doesn't even think to ask.
all silliness aside, even if the weather could ask i highly doubt it would compromise anyway. why would it? and who would win out? we'd still have people compromising for weather all over the place....farmers wanting alot of rain for a good growing season....followed by sun all day for the beachgoers and snow in the early morning for the skiers...nothing short of chaos so it's best that it's left to mother nature to take care of.
a few other examples of involuntary compromises include walking on the street(other people and obstructions to compromise you from walking in a straight line), going for bite to eat (choosing restaurant), interacting with strangers we meet and pretty much we leave the house using our feet. (sorry...couldn't resist the rhyming there :) )

i think what i'm hoping for is by putting this into physical form that the universe will somehow listen and make the people i'm thinking of well. again.

another 3 months and not a single post til now. yikes. seriously, where have i been? i'd like to be able to say i've filled up my time with exotic adventures abroad but in reality the only sojourns i've been on are my daily commute to work and convenience store. bleak to say the least, but i'm feeling the creative energies surging forth and thusly need an outlet for my powerful proclivities....
the problem with photoshop remains as it always does, projects. i have lots of ideas, but i don't seem to be able to focus in on them. there's wedding photo albums to go through, which will take a while to do...then i could of course re-do my blog book using indesign. i could also revisit some of the techniques i've learned over the course of the year which would help to boost creativity...and then of course, summer is coming and some one-of-a-kind tshirts would be really neat-o. decisions, decisions...seems now all i need is more time.
then there are lots of other things i feel i should be doing...the booklist is getting long again so maybe i feel like i should catch up on my list before it gets any longer. then there is the health factor, while now a non-smoker my mid-section seems to have gotten larger over the cold months which means i should start running again except i hate exercising for the point of exercising, but i also hate being fat. then i also feel like i should get back into studying chinese and starting the design course i should have started in january, but never got around to.

with all this procrastination i'm radiating, i suddenly see that it isn't such a big surprise that i haven't written anything in over 3 months.