doldrums

Back from holidays so time to update. The last two weeks of vacation have been great…ten days spent in Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia with nothing but beach, good food, and books to keep me company. The city isn’t much to write home about, but the surrounding beaches were very nice indeed. Picture small green islands, aqua-blue water teeming with ocean life, and white sand beaches. The sunsets lived up to their reputation as well and we could watch them while dining on some excellent seafood, steak, curry, pasta or just about anything else you could want. The only downside was the town had little to do after dark and tended to gouge tourists but what can you do? In hindsight, I think ten days would have been enough to explore the place, but it was still nice to get out of Taipei for a while. As soon as we touched down, I could already feel myself thinking about work and all the things I “have” to do before starting. By Saturday, I was feeling panicked about the things I had and hadn’t done. It seems I left my brain in Taipei, but it sure kicked itself into overdrive when I picked it up again.

Now I’m back at work and feeling…sad? Angry? Tired? Whatever it is, it’s definitely some post-vacation funk and I need to find myself an out. I’m just really not that excited to be back…I don’t know if it’s work, the city, the pace, the lifestyle but I’m just not feeling it right now. It just feels like I don’t have much to look forward to at the moment…just working, eating and sleeping. I suppose I should be thankful that I could actually afford to get out of the city for a bit, but I think it’s just part of a deeply rooted feeling I’ve been having for the last couple months or so. That feeling being that my life here isn’t enough. Not enough adventure, money, time, etc. I have these grand ideas of what my life should be like professionally and personally and I don’t feel like I’m achieving any of it. In short, the cold winds of change are nipping at my nose and I need to come up with some way to protect myself from them or let them sweep me away.

I’ve mentioned the possibility of moving to Spain and that is still an option…however, after a more thorough examination of finances, the timing may be off by about six months to a year. If we were to stick things out until Jan.2013 we’d be practically debt-free and will have contributed that much more to our savings. This would be especially helpful considering that costs are going to increase living in Europe, so it would purely be a practical move. The only problem is that I’m not sure I can stick things out that much longer that way I’m going. It’s not Taiwan, it’s me that needs to change. In order for me to stay longer, I need to continue with my personal and professional goals, but also find a way to love living here again. I desperately want things to feel new again, or at least have some of the feeling back that I used to have by living here. I’m simply not ready to be that jaded expat who has seen and done it all…there is no way I’ve even seen half of what this place has to show me (or at least I hope so!)

Alright, alright, enough of the pity party already. I just needed to vent a little and actually do feel better now. I think I’m going to start by making a list of the things I want to improve and go from there. Next post I’ll elaborate more on “the plan.”

I think I can...

My holidays are so close, I can almost feel the hot sand between my toes and the taste of sea on my lips; tropical cocktail in one hand and a long overdue book to be read in the other. I haven’t looked forward to a holiday this much for a long time and I plan to make the most of it. I don’t really have any plans or schedule, but just going to take it day by day and do whatever comes my way. Only 9.5 more hours to go!

The last couple of posts I’ve taking a break from the normal and posted a couple of articles I’d written for my book. Haven’t really heard anything which I can only assume means that no one reads this blog (or at least not regularly) or everyone is very busy. I’m going with the latter as it makes me feel better. Anyway, the text of the book has been laid out so now it’s a matter of going through and doing some editing, as well as photo shopping the pics, tweaking the design, and lastly finding a printer. I’m going to price out some printing companies and produce about 10 copies (if it’s feasible) just to say I’ve done it. I’m not really setting a timetable for anything, but I guess I’d like to see it done by CNY.

I’m learning lots as and I go and trying to enjoy the process without rushing through it. There are tedious parts to get there, but overall it’s a constructive way to spend my time. When I do finish, it’s going to be hard to find something to fill up the time.

Work has been busy, but there has also been a major development there. One of my coworkers was let go for various reasons; without going into major detail, the tension in the office has gone with my coworker. It’s only been a week but already there has been a major shift in workload and atmosphere. Although I don’t wish my former coworker any ill will, it has to be said that this is a change for the better.

What else, what else…actually, there really isn’t much else at the moment so I’m going to sign off and the next time I write I’ll have lots to share about my vacation. See you in two weeks

holidays

finally found some time to update my blog...just got back on monday from a 10-day christmas vacation in canada, and this first week back has been hectic and didn't really go as smoothly as i had hoped for. i'll elaborate more on that later, but here's a timeline of our awesome holiday.

dec.23rd we boarded the plane at 7:30 p.m. for our 13-hour, direct flight to toronto. everything was smooth as silk in terms of boarding, immigration, and all the usual pre-flight routines. the flight was comfortable as it wasn't fully booked, and we were one of the lucky ones who had an empty seat beside ours. what a world of difference those extra 15 inches of seat space can make to cramped up limbs. landed safely, got a text from justin (who was chilling with a $12 heineken at the pearsons terminal 3 bar...ouch!) to say he was waiting for us, then on our way to london to spend the night. arrived kind of late but was feeling wired from the trip.to remedy this, melissa poured caesars and ordered domino's just the way i like it. all that gusto within such a few short hours was enough to put us to sleep.

dec.24th - up early thanks to the effects of jet lag, but we took our time with a leisurely breakfast of peameal bacon BLT's (my favourite!) followed by a long overdue shower, starbucks run, and then home to hanover. i have to say, for the first time in a very, very long time, i was excited to go to hanover. we arrived at my mom and dad's to lots of hugs, a few tears, and a very home for the holidays atmosphere. we spent a few hours just talking and catching up, wrapping a few last minute presents, before heading out to elisha's house to spend the night. it was great to see everyone and together we ate, drank and were merry.

dec.25th - woke up at 8:30, hung out with the weishar clan for a bit of brekkie, then i went back into town, got showered up and went to durham to see my grandma campbell. she unfortunately had a stroke about two weeks prior, so she couldn't have a long visit, but she seemed happy that we were there and it felt good to see her again. after that, we headed back to my parents place and awaited elisha so we could open our presents. now, how things used to go in the campbell household was me waking everyone up at a ridiculous time to open presents....this year we didn't open presents up until 1:30! unreal, but it certainly made christmas last a lot longer than it normally does. everyone was spoiled rotten with loot.

around 3:00 p.m., the rest of the family started to arrive and dinner followed suit. we were not disappointed by the table laid before us. i know i keep talking about the food, but man, it had been a while since i had eaten so well and so much. a great day.

dec.26th - boxing day - decided to hit up some of the sales down in london. got some awesome deals and came away with a full work wardrobe. managed to get home around 6:00 p.m., had a quick nap and then had the weishars and a few friends come over for some christmas drinks and snacks. ended up being another late one, but finally called it a night around 3:00.

dec.27th - finally, after 3 full days of feasting and festing, it was time to relax and hopefully eat some salad or something instead of the rich repast i had been gorging myself. didn't do much else but lie around and start to make some plans for NYE. went back out to the weishars and spent the night as the sib-in-laws were planning on leaving the next day for home.

dec.28th - our admin day; time to do some banking, drivers' licenses, etc. not my favourite day by any stretch of the imagination, but always necessary when you're at home.

dec.29th - another glorious day to do nothing...just relax in the afterglow of christmas

dec.30th - see above

dec.31st - our final day in hanover. we started to say our farewells early as elisha's mom had to work...after that, it was elisha's father as he dropped us off at my parent's place. we hung out for the afternoon, drove to london and said our goodbye's as they drove back to hanover. we decided to spend NYE with justin and melissa and their friends and it turned out to be a lot of fun. got to bed around 4:30 a.m. which was a little scary considering we had to be in toronto later that same day, but fun nonetheless.

jan.1st - spent the day lounging and attempting to relax, but in fact becoming increasingly anxious about the long day ahead. eventually, it was time to go and catch the robert q airbus to pearson int'l. said our final goodbye's of the trip and then a few more hours wait before boarding the plane for a grueling, 15-hour flight back to taipei. add the trip time + the fact that we technically left on jan.2nd + losing 12 hours to int'l date line means we got back on jan3rd. painful, but worth it.

that was the trip. great time visit with fam+friends. the first week was a little rough. we were meant to head back to work the day we arrived but decided upon touchdown that wouldn't be happening. returned to work on tuesday and wednesday, but then i got sick on thursday and ended up having to take off at lunch and also friday. not really the productive work week i had in mind, but my body just had enough.

it is good to be back, but i have to be honest when i say that for one reason or another, it was a lot harder to leave this time than previous visits home. i'm not sure why, but it has spurred me to reevaluate my 'indefinite' timeline here in taiwan. in short, it's time to get focused up and set out what i came here to do. this by no way means that i'm done with taiwan, but that it's time to stop messing around and get serious about crossing a few goals off the list.

speaking of goals, i guess i did make some new year's resolutions for this year, or rather, a new year's mission statement. my theme for last year was 'grow', so this year it's going to be 'improve.' while this might seem pretty generic, it has two advantages; 1) i can apply this principle to everything i do currently in my life ex. diet - improve eating habits by eating organic and 2) it's simple and easy to use without having to come up with elaborate plans as to either keep or implement lofty resolutions. this idea of the mission statement really worked for me last year....i managed to improve my working situation, financial situation, health and eating habits, met some new people and even achieved a few other things unlooked for. this year, i just want to enjoy what i have but improve upon them; professionally+personally.

strange occurences

merry christmas! can't believe the holidays are upon us again but it's been great these last few days. today is boxing day and it was a nice day full of interesting things. chiefly among these events worthy of mention was a little trip elisha and i took out to the local conservation area to have a little...christmas cheer:) anyway, we were just about to pull out when this older lady walks around to come and speak to us. she wanted some help lifting full water jugs, so we agreed to help. soon, the jugs were full but we got to talking and before we knew it these two little, harmless ladies were explaining that they were mormons. the younger of the two did most of the talking, but she was practiced and didn't leave room for us to interrupt. at one point, i couldn't help but laugh at the situation and felt an almost uncontrollable urge to scream out "This is absurd! Run for it Leesh!".....next time for sure.

another sort of unusual thing was we were sitting and watching t.v. when all of a sudden the lightbulb from an overhead light dropped out of the socket and fell onto my dog's body while she was lying in her bed. it didn't shatter or anything, but i also can't explain why that would've happened...it made me laugh, but scared my fearless dog because she hasn't set foot in her bed again.

just sort of a strange day and thought i'd share.

christmas rush

with only 2+ plus weeks left before christmas, i have to say i'm getting swept up in the spirit. there is something in the air that seems to be looming and building intensity, just waiting for the right moment to release the downpour of the holidays. though it may be commercial and kitschy, i am still happy to be a part of it this year.

one thing is that i forgot just how expensive it can be! my measly writers' salary is hardly going to cover it, but it will ensure that i can cross all the names of my list. just have a few more to go and then done...hopefully i can finish next weekend before the christmas party...the mall is such a brutal place on the weekend in the lead up to christmas...madness, utter madness. definitely the side of christmas no one really wants to see...people hurrying to and fro, picking through things and checking every store to make sure they got the best deal...and my personal favourite...the HUGE lineups.

the holiday pitfalls aside, many good things come with the holidays. great food, picking out a tree and decorating it, listening to christmas music, seeing friends and family, time off! and least we forget the presents!!! oh man, i can't wait to see what people got me and for me to see the look on their face when they open my gifts...such an exciting 15 minutes before it's all done for another year....a gratifying experience nonetheless.

and to top off this festive, holiday mood i'm in we also have plans for NYE many, many, many weeks in advance which is new and thrilling. the karaoke/bad-taste theme we've thought up allows for a variety of tacky items in a multitude of distasteful manners. there are going to be lights and balloons, a stage, disco balls, prizes, a champagne fountain, and lots of other goodies. it should be an evening of special magnificance.