as you can likely guess from the subject line in my email, this msg is going to be a rant...i apologize in advance if you are having a great day and would like to keep it that way...if so, maybe you should save this one for another time when you're of similar mind. anyway, here goes...
the start of this 2008 has been off to the rockiest of starts. First, my favourite aunt passed away just over 2 weeks ago suddenly. She had been in a lot of pain for a loooong time, so I'm happy that she at least doesn't have to experience it anymore...she was my dad's sister and it was the first time in about 15 years I have seen each member of my family in the same place, speaking to one another...bizarre how it takes the death of someone to give the living a swift kick in the complacency...hopefully, the healing can begin with my dad and his estranged family.
life must go on however, and the next week things were just starting to feel back to normal when i received a little piece of mail from Revenue Canada. It was a notice to call them about something but didn't specify. Turns out, it was a loan that had gotten lost in the shuffle (i went to college when everything got tossed back and forth between the banks and the government) I found out I owed the outstanding amount of $1500 which has gone to collection about 2 years earlier. Super. So, back to the bank to try and get a loan...as I'm sitting there, the loan officer tells me that they would be unable to give me a loan as my CANADA student loan has also gone to collection. Impossible, I thought but after many phone calls later, it turned out that I did indeed owe the money...about $8,000 worth and it had actually gone past collections and was nearing litigation. Meaning, I would have been sued by a major Canadian bank meaning no possibility of credit in Canada, again. But wait, it gets so much better. The bank was going to take a lien against me, and because I don't own anything it would've been against my SIN number. This means 33% of my employed wages would have been garnished. however, because a large part of my income comes from self-employment, the bank would have been authorized to take 100% of that income. Lovely, isn't it? Of course, it was paid immediately so now I'm in my dad's pocket for $6600 (I talked them out of the interest in favour of full payment)The ironic part is that it took a different collection notice to bring a potentially worse collection notice to my attention. I had thought everything was fine. I'm not a deadbeat when it comes to paying my bills...I had everything set up for payment and left it with my parents. I'm not pointing fingers, but the woman I spoke to in litigation said if I had waited 2 more days then it would have been up to the courts to decide. Yikes.
This week has been most rotten of all. After months of being back, I have watched my dog Abby decline and decline. She has had terrible skin problems which take expensive medicines to clear up. She was near blind, lost almost all of her hearing about 2 weeks ago and basically had chewed off most of the fur on her back legs. It was time to do something, so we made the decision to have her put to sleep. IT was tough. I don't know if you are a lover of animals, but I would rather have my dog taken away suddenly then have to go through something like that again. I can't help but feel guilty about it, even though I know it was again a release. Hopefully, death will not become the dominant theme of 2008.
Last night, my dad went out with my car and got into an accident. He's fine, but the car is totalled. Again, wait for the tasty cherry on top. THERE WAS NO COLLISION. Thus, the car is a write-off and now Elisha and I have no way to get out of here and there is nothing we can do about it. As usual, my dad decides to blame everything else except his driving skills, so I got to hear last night how everything has gone wrong since we've been back.
You got that right.
I fucking hate my life right now. I can't remember when this much shit has happened to me at once...I feel like I'm the short kid who spilled milk on the bully that is 2008 and now it's kicking the shit out of me. I know, things will get better but it's true whoever said it's darkest before the dawn. Things have never been darker.
I tell you here and now that I will muster every iota of energy I can spare and channel it towards leaving this, this...place. I don't know where yet, but frankly it doesn't matter right now as long as it's far, far away from here. Luke Skywalker once said that Tatooine was the furthest point from the bright center of the universe...i think hanover might be tatooine.
there you have it, my 2008 so far. on the eve of the february, my fingers are crossed that things will improve...or i'm using my last few measly bucks and buying a shotgun.
