moving on has been a lot on my mind the last few days. it started when a f/t position came up two weeks ago. until that point, i hadn't given much thought of where i am in life or where i'm headed, just getting through each day. so, i applied for the job and had the interview and now i'm fairly certain i've got it, but the question is, do i want it? taking it would mean more money, solid hours, better sched and all that, but it also means that i'm going to be a bit more 'stuck' in my current situation.
i'm not too sure if i'm alright with that or not.
to compound these thoughts, a co-worker of mine is also decided to call it quits and that always make me re-evaluate things. am i happy here? could i or should i be doing something different with my life? why, of course i could and should! something new!? that's way better than what i'm doing now! and so on...
i hate to say it, but that part of me that loves change is quite a spoiled bitch...it makes me try new things, see new places, meet new people, but it also wants it all the time and won't let me settle for anything less. every time a travel book comes through my till, i immediately think that i should be out there again, traveling or working and living under foreign skies. i get these romantic ideas of what my life would be like if i was to live in this or that place and it makes my head swim with possibilities....and that makes me feel happy.
BUT, in the deep, dark places of my soul there is also this little person who whispers to me and makes me feel like i should settle down some where, plant roots, have kids and get fat. i hate this person because he makes me feel like i'm a dreamer who wants to waste his life on travel and that's not the way a grown-up should live his life.
haiku for the little practical man inside me
man inside my head
terrible yet insistent
sleep now little boss
