memory lane

now at the tail end of my 'weekend' from work (consisting of tuesday and wednesday) and have been trying to think of a project to put my photoshop skills to use. i've been fooling around for the last few weeks, trying out different techniques and basically manipulating photos into semi-artistic styles, but this is not fulfilling.

i've been putting off doing a major collaboration of my time overseas for a few reasons...a little because i don't know how to go about it, a little because it's a major project spanning 4 years of my life and a lot because i know that it will stir up feelings of what we had done, seen and the people who made it all worthwhile.

and i have to say, the trip down memory lane is bittersweet.

i'm really happy when i look at these moments captured in time in that faraway place...when i see the things that i've done i'm glad. when i think of what was going on at the time and the emotions tied to it, it makes my heart swell. when i see the expressions on friends' faces caught mostly with a smile on their face, it makes me smile too. but at the same time, these precious memories are only that...memories and that makes me a little sad.

life has improved in so many ways with this move out here, but once again i find myself missing a crucial component and that is friends. personally, it does get a little harder with every move and as i age i find it a wee bit more difficult to find quality people to spend time with. it could be the fact that i've already met some of the most incredible people and i feel like they couldn't be replaced, or it could be that i'm just tired of 'firsts' and just want friends who know me. i don't know, but i've got to get out there and try and meet some new people.

maybe then i when i look back on my memories i can just smile.

12:17am, location: living room

after downing a glass of coke at ten to eleven, i have been researching deadly spiders and looking up horrific pictures of brown recluse bites. if that wasn't enough, my housemate pointed out this mysterious child's handprint on the front bay window which using my imagination i have chalked up to some ghost child living in our house. now, i have decided to 'calm' myself down by watching intervention and reading soldiers of reason, a book about the RAND corporation which of is basically in control of the american nuclear strategy.

yeah, i'm going to get a greaaaaaat nights' sleep tonight.